little bumps become big bumps.

today we take cohen to meet his pre k teacher. he starts pre k monday. im excited for him but really sad o see him go. Im finding it more and more diffcukt to deal with ken being out of a job. this was just suppose to be a little bump. not big one. but now were going on month three with nothing but unemployment andno end in sight. this weekend is stake conference and im singing inthe wemons chior. im excited casue im actully going to be bale to listen to the talks. thre wont be any kids ont the stage with me LOL. I need something to uplift me cause nothing seems to be working. we have had family home eveaning three weeks in a row. but thats nbot helping. famiy prayer, scriptur reading, even made to all three hours of church for a month. still feel down. im tryiong so hard to figure out whats making me feel so down. Im trying to keep my head up and smile and support my husband through this.but alli want to do is run away and hide till the rough par tis over. im tired of strugalling all the time. i wish we could just get on with pur lives. Anyway i hope sunday will shead some light on why i feel so yucky all the time. little update on the baby front. still not pregnent though im sure its for the best. still alittle baby crazy. but am coping rather well...

Im tempting fait

Ok so the kids have been down for there nap now for almost 2 hours. And im am really tempting fait in the fact that i waited this long to decide to write. Ken and I are trying for our third. we have been trying sence january and i feel likeim the only one i know not preggers. I know heavenly father will bless us with our next one when were ready. BUt i feel ready now. Blame it on all the other people having kids. but my two just arnt babys anymore. and i miss that. Liam is finally walkign and hes learned how to sign so were able to know what he needs. Cohen is a bundel of energy and loves to talk all the time. He will be 3 in july. and hes seems much older. We went to see Horton heres a hue yesterday just the two of us. He loved it. Ken is losing his job at the end of june so we have been scrambaling to look for a new one. And ive been thinking this might be a good time to move to a bigger city. Maybe closer to the temple. I feel so lost right now. everythng is so up in the air with kens work, home, and the kids therapys. Liam is in the prosses of being tested for autism. and were all just trying to keep each other afloat. The great thing about the caos is that Everytime i look at ken i am so thankful for him. He honestly makes me cry when i look at him. I love him so much and know how much he loves me. I love my life with him no matter how hard it sometimes can be. I told himi loved him like twenty times last night LOL. Ive been really emotional latley. it is just the stress and the pressure that the kids therapys schedule puts on me. Im going all over town all week. Its going to rain the next few days and i love it. We have a really alful A/C unit and so by the end of the day the house is in the 80's without cooking. but this afternoon is is cool. June 1st marked the begin of hurricane season. Ken says im wired but i love hurricane season. I love weather in general. and if i were better at math i probally would of studied it. WoW been typing for 15 mins stilll no crying.. hmmm Anywho thats all for now.

quick update

Hello everyone im so sorry i havent written in so long. im so bad at blogging LOL. well for all who dont know Liam is going to shands tuesday the 16 so we will hopefully find out whats going on with the little mans tummy. We found out yesterday that cohen is on the autistic spectrum. he has PDD-NOS i dont knwo much about it yet so we will all learn together i guess. COhen is in a school for 4 hours a day m-f which has helped his speech alot. he is getting so big. and for some reson dosnt deem to get the importace of naps LOL. Ken has a perment job with DEP and we are uber excited about that. well thats all for now ill write when i have mroe time

Cohen is Turning 2

SO tuesday is Cohens 2end b-day on this earth. I sometimes think to myself where did my baby go? He is getting so big. He has started to talk up a storm. He now can say No, Mine, Bye bye, nite nite, bubbles, cheese, chips (which sounds a whole lot like cheese), Car, bath,dada, mama, wow, and uh oh LOL He can even put soem together like no mine. or no bye bye or no nite nite. LOL he likes no. He is so smart. and loves his daddy. Ken finally got a temporay job. he is now working as a receptionist at his sisters work. its only suppose to be for a month. but that should get us to finacial aid which should get us till they start hiring for session up at the capital. ANd then he will be employed tilla t least may again. Were having a b-day party for cohen tommarow and our looking fowared to having a blast. We are so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends. COhen is going to get a tons of things that he needs and wants. We got him a play kitchen and a play work bench. its been so hard not to get it out before the party. Its in our shed waiting to be put together. which we will probally take on wither tonight or tommarow while the boys are asleep. Liam is getting extremly big. He is already 24 pounds and hes only 9 months old. HEs going for a test on monday to see if they can determin why hes so gasy/consapated all the time. Hes so fussy its like he has colic. If they dont find anything then its off the a GI specialist. We need some kind of answer. He has cried most nights for hours like hes in pain and we dont know what do. So all keep him in your prayers. I am extremy nervous about the test is called a berium ennama test. We will go monday and see. my mother is coming with me. well thats all for now cohens havign a tantrum behind me so i guess i should see why.

Baby feaver

Everyone i know is just finding out there preggers or are in the middle of there pregency or a small few are just having little ones. It makes me want another one. but it seems that its not in the cards for awhile. this is becasue of two reasons. 1. no money which isnt really an excusse since i belive that you shouldnt wait till you can affored a child (face it then you would never have kids) but its a whole nother situation when your family has no income at all. Yep ken still hasnt found a job. and 2. becasue of my health. Nothign serously is wrong with me but we are looking into a thyroid problem and i really need to louse some weight before we try for number. And of course there are so many other reasons. But i still feel like im not complete. I mean i have a great husband and two fantastic sons. both of which i adore. but im not complete. there are still children of mine in heaven waiting to recive a body. and are aching to be thought. COhen had a bad dream tonight me and ken were just about to turn out the light when he began to cry. so i went and got him and put himin bed with us and let him watch caiule which im sure i mispelled. But anyway he kept givign the cat kisses then he would cuddle up with me then daddy then back to the cat. I just put him back in bed an figures i would wait to make sure he was ok. Children are such precisous gifts from heavely father. They ARE the secreat to life

Children are great!!!

Well im home for the first time alone with the children in awhile. Ken hasnt had a job for about a month now. SO hes been home 24/7. I love having him here. but i think i forgot how great the kids are when its just us. Ken loves to play with cohen and he loves to play with liam but he sometimes gets them so rawled up that they arnt the darling children they are when its just us. cohen for istance went into the kitchen and wanted a bag of fruite we had in the fridge. and he is carying it around and eatig out of it like its a bag of candy. (so cute) and liam is in his walked laughing at cohen. Liam idalizes his brother. he wants to do everythign cohen does. I love my kids there great and I am remined everyday that this is short lived. one day they wont be little anymore and they want me incacent.

Davids birthday

Well today is davids b-day. Which wouldnt be a big deal on any other year cause they lived on the other side of the USA. But this year guess who will be in town. Yep you guessed it him and his family. And we are the ones throwing him a b-day party. Yippe. Look im all for party. I love them. but this is just a bad weekedn for me. Im not feeling completly up to my self. im sick to my stomice and just plain ickey. But none the less im going to clean.bake, and decarate to the best of my ability cause I am the housewife and women of this here house and it will be the best b-day party that he has ever had!!!!!!!! I feel a little threatened by his wife so i always feel i have to do the very best i can which in hopes is better then. her LOL. I knwo its not a compition but she is great. she can cook, clean with the best of housewives, do crafts, she even homemakes there christmas cards now granted she is an art majore. but still gezze. She plays the trumpt. and is 8 months preggers and taking a cross country trip to florida. who wouldnt be imtemadated???